I guess I should start with hi! And of course welcome to my blog!
This is strange, 2 hours ago I was at my sons school helping him make a board game. I wanted to share my experience but I had nowhere to write it. That’s how I ended up here, I thought I would start a blog. I’m not the best at writing, sometimes punctuation and spelling might be a little bit incorrect but what does that matter?! I love to share my stories and I love to write about them and I hope people will love to hear about them too.
Let me explain my blog name ‘the useless mother’ this goes back to why I originally decided to create a blog. I’m at my sons school helping him with this board game, there are parents surrounding me getting on with helping their children, it was a lovely moment as not many parents get time to sit with their children and give them that valuable 1 on 1 attention for that length of time! There was another mother on the same table as me who is absolutely lovely but when I looked over at hers, you could clearly see how creative she was, her drawings were fantastic, her level of detail was brilliant. I looked at mine and my sons and he could of said he did it all by himself and no doubt he would of been believed!
My son has ADHD and dyspraxia so he really struggles with focus, self esteem, writing and using scissors, he struggles with many other things but for this story, those 4 struggles he has to fight with to succeed. Therefore we had tears, frustration and a few times he had to take himself away for a couple of minutes ro regain himself and then he would come back and continue so not only does he have a useless mother who can’t draw a stickman but he’s also fighting his own doubts about the quality of his work. Maybe me being rubbish helped him feel less inadequate. I would like to think he looked at my drawings and thought they’re rubbish and then realised that I was fine with that because that’s the best I can do and that’s ok!
Anyway, we quickly pushed on by, we got the board game done and started to play, as we were playing we were laughing and my son thought it was hilarious because I had to run on the spot for 30 seconds in front of a class of all of his friends and their parents! Adults were smiling and children came over out of curiosity because they wanted to see what our board game was all about. One of his friends wanted to play so I made an excuse to move away so they could play together, I went to the toilet, came back and there was another little boy playing with him and much to my delight, the smiling and laughing coming from that corner made all those feelings of inadequacy and frustration felt irrelevant! My son came over to me whilst giggling in excitement and said “Mummy, I chose the shout as loud as you can card but I really don’t want to do it!” his friend was standing there laughing whilst encouraging him to do it!
That’s when it clicked, realistically, our board game most likely looked the most rubbish out of everybody’s, definitely not my sons fault as all the adults had pretty much took their childs ideas and stuck it on card so all of them looked adult made. Yet our board game was the only one that created genuine levels of laughter and excitement. Nobody cared that it didn’t look as amazing as everybody else’s, it provided something so much better – genuine joy!
This is the problem, you get adults involved and it becomes competitive, everybody wants their child to have the best board game so they make it look as amazing as possible, forgetting what it’s really about. I’m guilty as well because I didn’t consider how much fun it should be, I was too busy worrying and feeling guilty about how bad it was going to look! My son made it fun because they were all his ideas, I made the odd suggestion but really not worth mentioning.
This proves, I am a useless mother when you ask me to be creative and bake the best looking cake etc etc etc but that doesn’t matter as fun, laughter and joy are the only things I want to be good at creating!