Needless fear

Yesterday I was getting on with my day when my phone rang, I looked down at my phone and my heart starts racing.

It was my sons school.

Anybody with a special needs child will understand that feeling.

I mean, I get it, nobody wants a phone call from their child’s school, every thought goes through your head, mainly are they injured and are they sick.

With a special needs child it’s very different. Any parent of a superhero child will tell you they wish only those 2 things went through their head when they get that call!

My heart starts racing
My hands become clammy
Every possible thought goes through my head from has he been sick to is he having a meltdown and unable to bring himself out of it.

These meltdowns can be as calm as him locking himself in the toilets to get himself away from everybody to a full blown meltdown of him trashing rooms and attacking anybody that dare comes near.

Thankfully, we haven’t had the latter for nearly 2 years now. He usually locks himself in the toilet, that’s his way of saying, ‘I can’t cope and this is my way of preventing myself from doing anything I’ll later regret’
I’m very aware though that those full blown meltdowns can come back at any point.

I let the phone ring out so I could regain myself and start thinking rationally and then I called them back,

“Hi this is C’s mum, did you just call me?”

I know I sounded calm but inside my heart is thumping with the dread of what her response is going to be.

“oh hi, yes, I just wanted to let you know that those forms are ready for you to collect from reception”

Really?!
Forms?!

I was panicking and freaking out over forms?!

Now I can relax and I’ll gladly feel stupid and to say I was feeling a little guilty is an understatement!

I should believe in him far more because my goodness he has earnt it!

I class myself as lucky, I have a 9 year old with special needs who has the determination of a warrior.

I don’t give him anywhere near enough credit as he deserves. I should answer the phone thinking, have I forgot to give him his lunch/water bottle?
Instead I think what’s he done wrong/what’s happend/is he struggling to cope again?

I went to pick him up from school and his teacher said he’s had a fantastic day!
Well of course he has!
He’s my little warrior who is determined to succeed no matter what stands in his way and when life knocks him down, he gets right back up and continues fighting.

I think it’s time to stop panicking when the phone rings.

11 thoughts on “Needless fear

    1. You’re not alone! I get anxiety from just thinking about them calling! πŸ™ˆ To be fair though, the last time they called, it was too say he had locked himself in the toilets and refused to come out for anybody but me! πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈ It was more of a warning though as it was pick up time and I was already on my way there. I always worry about him being unable to cope though.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. I’m happy to say I got a phone call from school about half an hour ago. It’s the first time I’ve answered it and not had to call them back because I was panicking too much to answer! They were calling to ask if they could take him to the library! I felt much better not panicking! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      Liked by 1 person

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